The Christmas Conspiracy

I know I'm not as exciting as presents, but come on!
It’s November 12th. Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away. Fall has descended on the Northern Hemisphere and the air is filled with the spirit of.. Christmas?


Oh yeah. Christmas season started early this year – the day after Halloween, in fact. The commercials, the trees in the malls, the decorations in stores.. People are even posting about it on Facebook! It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas but we’ve all but forgotten that Thanksgiving comes first!

Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE the holidays. The spirit, the lights, the songs, the celebrations, all of it. But I also like order, including but not limited to chronological order, so by reason of nothing else but a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder, this Thanksgiving neglect is terribly disturbing.

But I have a theory. This theory depends on the following being facts.

  • The economy is in poor shape. Duh.
  • Shopping, and more importantly spending money, are invigorating to the economy.
  • Consumers spend the most during the holidays.

Now the theory:
To further stimulate the economy/boost revenues/create holiday season jobs (whichever spin you like), the holiday spending season is being pushed HEAVILY earlier, so the season, and thus spending season, is extended.

Or I’m just crazy.

Either way, this means a few things:

Three more weeks of those stupid mall jewelry store commercials. “Santa told me you’d like it. HURRR DURRRR! *Every kiss begins with a $100 chain that will break at the slightest pull so you’d better spring for the warranty that costs double what the chain does but that’s okay because you’ll probably have to have it repaired more than twice anywayyyyyy*

+ Three extra weeks of constant reminders NOT to wait until the day after Thanksgiving to get everything prepped for Christmas (because I tend to procrastinate and by the time everything is ready to go, it’s the week of Christmas itself)

+ Three more weeks of Christmas music!

Premature Christmas music burnout.

Three extra weeks of holiday shopping congestion. The mall is a generally terrible place already, but in the weeks leading up to the holidays, it’s a nightmare. And we get to live that nightmare for three more weeks.

+ Three extra weeks of holiday sales!

Three extra weeks of holidays sales. Because I have some pretty serious retail issues and sales are an excuse to let those issues out of their cage.

Fall decorations look strangely out of place.

+ Three extra weeks of seasonal eats, treats and.. libations!

Three extra weeks of seasonal eats, treats and libations. Because they’re generally SUPER sugary or fatty.

A diminished sense of anticipation due to being Christmas-ed out by the the first of the twelve days of Christmas.

So there are pros and cons to the whole thing, but overall, I would really LOVE to enjoy my holidays one at a time. What do you think? Are the holidays coming too soon or are you completely stoked to enjoy the extended season?

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